Monday, September 22, 2008

4000 Questions: Question #29: Did you enjoy physical education in school?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Uh...no.

If you have known me for any length of time you know doing anything physical has been (until about 6 months ago) avoided at all costs. PE was not my friend. It was pretty much the worst part of the day for me, second only to recess due to being the butt of most jokes & every bully's dream come true.

While at Malta, kindergarten through 8th grade all had PE together. First we would do typical 1980's exercises. Jumping jacks, stretches, these weird things called "cotton pickers" I believe, & other stuff I can't really remember. Then we had to run a mile. I talked about this in a post just the other day. Our teacher would stand by the dirt road with her paddle & watch us. If she caught you walking you got a lick. If she didn't have her paddle, then you had to run another lap, which equaled another 1/4 mile. I really don't know if she ever really paddled anyone to my knowledge but she did have us all scared to death. I doubt she ever did because I sure as heck deserved them. I walked all the time & never got one & I can't believe that she did not know what I was doing. Man, I wish I had kept it up all these years. Oh well, live & learn.

When we moved to Simms, our PE class was much different. For starters, it was inside a really nice & carpeted gym/auditorium. We typically did stretches & small exercises like sit ups & jumping jacks to start off. Then we learned other things including, square dancing, jump ropes, gymnastics, this big ball thing, & other things I don't remember. It was much more fun.

In Jr. High, our PE instructor was one of the football coaches & figured his time would be better well spent in his office than teaching the athletic rejects anything useful. Our days usually consisted of exercising to a Richard Simmons video then cleaning the field house. My job was to vacuum. We spent the rest of the time playing cards. Every once in awhile he would have us go walk around the track a few times. Most of the time I walked with my friend Angelo (who later "came out of the closet" after high school...everyone always asked us if we were dating...maybe I turned him gay...*gasp*). The "less classy" kids, usually detoured behind the bleachers to smoke & who knows what else. (This school was labeled drug free but I know the majority of the class I was in had a drug problem before graduation HS...I had changed schools before my class went to the pits.)

My freshman year I moved to New Boston. I got out of having to have PE my first year due to being in band. Trust me, I would have rather had PE. The next year I quit band but got out of having to have PE because I assisted in teaching swimming lessons the next summer & got a life guarding assistant certification (whatever the heck that is). To tell you the truth, I'm not sure that was all legit/legal. But who cares? I graduated. Not to mention, I'm making up for it now.

I didn't take a lick of PE in college. I'm not sure how I got out of that. In x-ray school, I tried taking a karate class at the community college but quit after the first night. I don't respond well to people yelling at me. "Kick! Harder, harder!" I wanted to say, "I'll kick you, mister, just put the cushion down." Very classy, I know.

Anyway, no, I never liked PE....I cannot describe to you how much I hated it. Now that I am almost 30 (28 to be exact), I am gaining an appreciation for it though. I guess I'm just a slow learner about some things.

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