I never actually ran away. Once, I had an argument with my mom. I was about 6 or 7 yrs old. So, I packed up all my Barbies in my little red suit case & stood near the door. She really got on to me because I actually had a friend over at the time & I was not acting very well in front of her. I, apparently, was a really crappy friend if I were going to just pack up & leave my "friend" in a household so "terrible" I was forced to obtain independence at age 6 or 7.
There were times when I would be so mad, upset, depressed, activated, ect..., that I would run out into the woods. I had so many painful & indescribable feelings in side my chest sometimes I just felt like I could run & run & run to get them out. I wasn't very physically fit even then so I couldn't run very far. Usually I would just run to a fallen tree near the middle of the small wood next to our house & rest on it. This kind of thing happened from elementary through high school I know. I'm not sure if I did it when I was in college much but I know there were times when I felt like it. I haven't felt quite like that in several years. The anti-depressants helped & I've also learned to breathe through some of my frustrations & that sometimes seems to help. I never really wanted to run away, I don't think. I just wanted to get away from the pain depression causes. I just didn't realize you couldn't do it physically. It is something that I, later on, had to work through on my own, in my own psyche.
Oh, wasn't this a nice, uplifting blog. I think the sleep deprivation is starting to catch up to me. I'm about to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow's post will be happier.
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