Monday, November 24, 2008

Chaos has taken over

I know I've been away a bit. Last week, for part of the week I was on vacation & the rest of the week, I just didn't pay any attention to what I was doing. I know I probably didn't go over on calories (until this weekend, oops) but I didn't do any exercise either. I'm really not sure how much "exercise" I'm going to get this week either. My house is a wreck & I'm getting sick of it. It is completely ridiculous for someone to live like this. So, I aim to start cleaning it up before I end up on television. So, house cleaning my have to be considered my "exercise" this week. I know this isn't a very good excuse or form but it has reached a point that something must be done. A clean environment usually makes you feel more inspired & relaxed.

Whenever I do finally get my place clean & organized, it tends to stay that way for a month or two. Then, all of a sudden, BANG! It's a mess again. I swear someone is sneaking into my place & messing it up on purpose. I blame gnomes.

My closet has virtually no clothes hanging up in it any more. Most are either on my bed, on the floor in the living room, on the floor of the closet, on my bedroom floor, on my couch, or still in the dryer. And even most of those don't fit me anymore. I have given two loads of clothes to my mom & who ever else she knows might need them, so now I have very few clothes that actually fit me. This is great, however, there is no excuse for me not hanging up what does fit in the closet now. That is what I am aiming for this week. Get the clothes off the bed so I can once again sleep all sprawled out like I like. Sort the clothes in the living room into what fits & what doesn't, then rewash them, take the ones that don't fit to my mom & put the others away. Go through the clothes at the bottom of the closet & pack them up for my mom (I'm pretty sure none of those fit me anymore). I have to do all of this by Tuesday night since I'll be going home for Thanksgiving on Wednesday morning, hopefully. I want to take this last load of my old clothes to my mom then.

I also have to clean my kitchen today. I don't care how small & inconvenient my kitchen is, it is inexcusable to let it get to this condition.

I've made these goals before & either did a minimal job or just looked at the entire scene & became so overwhelmed that I jumped back on the computer to escape the chaos around me. Some things are just going to have to be sacrificed until I get this under control. This situation is much like the whole weight loss task. When looking at the whole picture, I had to loose 100 lbs. That seemed impossible. Why even try? I've failed every other time, how will this time be any different? This task is not different. I must focus on one room at a time, one task at a time. It may take longer than I would like but I can't look at this as "get it clean the it's over" just like I can't look at my weight as "get it off then you don't have to worry about it anymore" or like reading the Bible can't be seen as "get it read then you don't have to pick it up again." That is how bad habits sneak back in & the apartment becomes a mess again, I get fat & unfit again, & I start to fall away from God again. These are things I must stay on top of every day for the rest of my life. I have to watch my calorie intake, exercise, straighten up the house/apartment, read my Bible, & pray every day. I had a friend who suggested setting a timer for 15 min every day & clean during that time. It think this is a great idea & I plan to implement it once I get the place to a point of livability. Sort of a maintenance plan, I guess.

I don't want to be this person. I want to be healthy, athletic, clean, organized, and as close to God as I can be. I want my place to be a place where people feel comfortable & I feel comfortable having them. I don't want it to become one of those places that people feel uptight in but I don't want them worried that they may get lost under a pile of clothes either.

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