Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Hello, my name is Kristy, & I'm an addict

Ok...so I can just imagine what you guys have me all addicted to at this point. I must confess, my addictions are not that interesting. They will never be the fodder of gossips.

I believe, through self-diagnosis, I have an addictive personality.

You are probably thinking, "No. I know Kristy & her personality is certainly nothing I could ever be addicted to." But that isn't what an additive personality is. A person who has an addictive personality becomes addicted to things very easily, whether it is drugs, eating, gambling, sex, etc... Besides the eating, I'm not addicted to anything quite as interesting as those & I really wouldn't say I'm really addicted to eating as much as I just don't make the right choices that often.

The reason I believe I have an addictive personality is because I find an activity or subject I am interested in & I obsess over it for a few weeks to a couple of months. In addition, I am a researcher. I research the heck out of a topic.

Right now a couple of my obsessions include: cooking (not actually doing it much but collecting recipes, advice, tips, etc...), wedding/shower stuff, spiritual growth, relaxation/spa stuff (how to's), politics. None of these topics are bad but I obsess over each of them at the same time & never grow in any of them. Not only that, but I always have this feeling of "I have to become an expert in this subject right NOW!" "I'm not learning this fast enough!" "AAAaaaahhhh!!!"

I need to sit down & organize myself.

On the cooking front, I should commit myself to cooking at least one new recipe each week.

I've never been too into weddings/showers. In fact, I've always hated going to them. Part of this was due to my anxiety in social situations, another part probably has to do some with protecting myself (something I will go into in another entry). However, with helping plan Kim's wedding & me planning a shower for her, I have really started getting into this. In the past few years, I never really thought I would want a "real" wedding. I thought, at most, maybe just the immediate family & possibly a house party/backyard barbecue/reception after the honeymoon for extended family & friends. However, with all this research (because that is what I do), I may be getting closer to reconsidering should I ever find myself in the same situation. I'm sure after Kim's wedding, this obsession will soften.

The relaxation/spa topic has increased on the interest scale due to my desire to throw a spa party for the bridesmaids & Kim a couple of days before the wedding. It is really just me trying to get ideas for thing we can do but still. :P Again, thank God, this obsession will probably calm after the party.

If you read this blog much (the 2 or 3 of you out there...hehe), you probably have noticed a sudden interest in politics. While I still have quite a heavy interest in that subject, the extremity of my obsession with it has cooled a bit recently. Unfortunately, I believe a lot of this is due to the upcoming wedding so it will probably return after the summer.

Another obsession I mention is spiritual growth. While an "obsession" in this area is good, I can't seem to focus my intentions. I have several books I want to read all on different topics but all in the Christian growth realm. My problem is that I want to read all these books at once. I have a serious problem of starting a book & then starting another & then never finishing either. I nearly did this the other day. Right now I am reading a fabulous book called Captivating. This book will definitely go down as one of the books that significantly impacted my life. I am so excited about this book & cannot say enough good about it. You just need to read it. (I'll probably discuss this book more in another post.) However, the other day I ordered another book (plus the workbook) that a friend of mine suggested I read (about 8+ years ago). They were laying on the table the other day & I reached for the book to go read for a bit & stopped myself. I so badly wanted to go read this book for an hour or so but I remembered my other book. I made a pact with myself not to start that book until I had finished Captivating. Thank God, because I may have never finished this amazing book if not. I now only have just about 40 pages left. I am also reading another book right now but it is a book that is organized into topics rather than chapters that must be read in order. It is more of a collection of writings that can stand on their own so I don't feel bad about picking this book up & putting it down for awhile.

I really don't know why I talked about this today. I guess it was just something on my mind. If you got this far, you are a real trooper & I'm sorry there is no Earth shattering conclusion. But this is how many of my thought are usually. Now real conclusions just chaos & disorder. Maybe just getting these thoughts down on paper...ahem...on screen, will help quite my mind that has been even more noticeably chaotic lately.

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