Things That Annoy Me: Food "Sounds"

First off, this is a series of entries I have been wanting to do for a while. I was going to call it "Things That Tick Me Off," which they are usually but "Annoy" is probably more accurate.

I know what my family is thinking, "Oh, jeez, this is a never ending topic for Kristy." That is because it has kind of become a joke in our family about what gets on my nerves. It seems like just about anything. Hehe. They will also tell you that food "sounds" are pretty much my number one.

So, what do I mean by "food sounds?" Do I mean that I don't like to hear that sizzle of frying food that causes you to start salivating? Does food really make a sound? Does your food dance & sing like on Disney's Beauty & The Beast? (I know it wasn't really the food doing the musical number, it was the dishes.)

What I mean is chewing. I hate that sound. First off, you have those especially noisy foods like chips, trail mix, nuts, popcorn, & other crunchy food that, if I ever gain control of the world, my first act in office will be to make all of them illegal to be eaten within hearing distance of my ears. I have a friend who eats nuts around me all the time. Not only that, but I believe she waits until I'm around her to eat them. Aaarrrhhhhh!!! I think I'm beginning to crack up a bit.

Another is chewing with mouth open, like a cow chewing cud. First of all, I don't want to see your mushed up food; second, it is messy; but most of all, I do not want to hear your saliva splashing about. It just makes me a little nauseous. Blech! My annoyance with this was supported in a blog at Your Healthy Lifestyle Blog at SparkPeople entitled "How Good Manners Can Help You Slim Down." It stated, "When you chew with your mouth open, you swallow air, which can lead to flatulence and indigestion. Spare your dining companions the "see-food" and save yourself the tummy troubles later."

I was also excited to read in that same blog entry support for another annoyance I have, talking with your mouth full. "Conversation is important, but wait until you have swallowed your food to start talking. It's better to create silence while you chew and swallow than to give a garbled answer because you're talking around a mouthful of chicken. Eating while carrying on a conversation makes it easier to wind up overindulging." I'd like to add that it is disgusting & I don't appreciate getting sprayed by your PCF (pre-chewed food...a phrase a Sunday school teacher use to use a lot...lol...ah, memories...hehe).

Ok, ok, I know what you are thinking..."This girl is over the top, a little too picky." Well, yeah, I guess I am. Does that annoy you? Write a blog about it then. :)

So, I continue.

Soups. Enough said.

You could also add squishy foods like oranges in with soups if you are talking sploshy sounds. Ick!

Now, I move on to drinks. Hot drinks. Is it really necessary to blow into your cup? Yeah, I know, you want to cool it off, but you're looking into at very least, 8 oz of scalding liquid, do you really think that a couple of puffs are going to make it chill any faster than just waiting 5 min or so? Apparently most people think so because after 2 short blows (because, apparently that is the gold standard of cooling off hot liquids) they dive right in for a solid drink. And what comes next? That's right, that grimace that make small children run for their mother & babies cry. Now, not only do you have any skin left on your lip or in your throat you look like you just had a seizure. The next time you are in a coffee shop, watch the people, it is quite entertaining. Maybe this really didn't belong in the "annoying" section but it does become annoying when that person then says, "Ow, that's hot!" then immediately proceeds to take another sip. *eyes rolling*

Also, in the drinks section I would like to include water bottles. Not the screw cap ones but the ones you are supposed to squeeze to get the liquid out of. For some reason, way too many people find it necessary to suck on these bottles so that their lip is stuck to the nozzle & the plastic collapses in on itself. This leads to two extremely annoying sounds. The plastic loudly popping & scaring the begeeses out of me &, two, the release of pressure from their lip as they pry the skin away from the bottle. Ugh!

Hehe...you enjoying this yet?

Finally, after all this food & drink come the dreaded body sounds, that's right, burping. I do understand that this happens from time to time on complete accident & that is fine. Where it becomes a problem for me is when it is obvious that the person is trying to burp or obviously not trying to suppress it. The most inexcusable, however, when the person does not excuse themselves after it happens, or worse, seems to take pride in it, like, "*BURP* Whoo...yeah." Gross & rude.

Well, I guess that is all I'll say about food sounds today. I know you can't wait for my next instalment of Things That Annoy Me & I'm sure you are still questioning how it is possible that I am still single. :)