Weight Loss Vlogs: The Next Step: Update #2

Just an update.

For the passages of the Bible I refer to, see Romans 8:1-14.

A reward system I may just try.

Ok, after writing that post this morning & thinking through things & talking to a couple of friends...& buying a new Wal-Mart brand Spanx like thing so I'll feel a little less jiggly in my bridesmaid's dress, I'm feeling a little less depressed & on the verge of tears. Ok, so maybe I was never really on the verge of tears, just dissappointed in myself & wanting to have an out of body experience in which I smack myself upside the back of my head. Don't get me wrong, I'm angry as heck at myself, but there's point in dribbling in a dark corner over my mistakes when there is work to be done.

I've never done the whole reward thing but I'm thinking it may be time for that. I think I talked about this a bit in another post. Anyway, I've decided to give myself a small reward for when loose 5 lbs & a bit bigger of a reward when I get to a 10 lbs loss. Since I'm trying to also live a little more frugally, I'll appreciate each of these prizes more.

For my first 5 lbs reward, I'm thinking about some new underware from Victoria's Secret. My sis got some from them the other day that she really liked them. A bit more expensive than Wal-Mart, nicer too, I'm sure.

For my 10 lbs, like I mentioned in that previous post, I think I'll get the new Sims 3 game. I was going to wait till I got to be under 170 but I think if I can loose 10 lbs in a decent amount of time (aka, by the end of Sept) then I'll be "back in the groove" & I'm afraid I may give in & buy it if it takes too much longer. :)

For my 15 lbs mark (the second 5 lbs), I'm thinking one of these rings. I love almost every one of the ones they offer but these two are my favorite. The first has a portion of Philipians 4:13 on the outside & the reference to the verse on the inside. Philipians 4:13 has been a kind of mantra for me since embarking on this journey. I would chant it over & over to myself when my trainer would want me to lift an impossible weight "just 5 more" times.

The other ring, references Proverbs 31 on the top with the rest of the band made of the letters making up "Woman of God." This ring seems to have more meaning to me now for some spiritual things I am going through. Maybe I'll get one of them at this mark & the other at another point.

I'm not sure what the rest of rewards will be. If I haven't had to purchase a new cell phone by the point I hit the 150's & given it fits into the policy I share with others, I would like to get an iPhone. I will also be needing some new running shoes soon but I'm not sure that would be as much of a reward as much as a necessity...& they're certainly not as fun as a game or something like that.

Anyway, I'm excited to get my new things so I better get cracking. :)

I'm loosing ground & loosing control

I just weighed tonight &, as expected, the out come is not good. No surprise there. Granted I am on my "girly time" & last week I was as sick as a dog & still coughing quite a bit but, let's be honest, I'm sucking big time. Eating is out of control & exercise has been non-existant. I have been struggling since Christmas &, since April, it has just gotten worse.

I feel gross, my clothes that were getting big are now fitting, & I'm not feeling as comfortable & confident as I was. I'm depressed & I hate myself for it. How did I let myself fall back into these patterns & why can't I stop myself?!

I have two weeks before Kim's wedding to get myself back into feeling better & loose at least 5 lbs. Next week won't be too difficult since I don't have any meetings or plans during the middle of the week so I plan on killing it on the eliptical for an hour Mon-Thurs. Thursday I'll be going home to the parents for about 10 days for the wedding & week-before-preparations. That will be a little more tricky. I tend to get lax when I'm at my parents. I still plan on exercising while I'm there. I have my kettlebell & I need to get back into running. It is in the 100's here in TX right now so running outside is not that safe so I'll have to get my butt out of bed early to beat the sun's rays.

The other problem is I may have to deal with people "encourageing me" or suggesting I eat right or exercise. That is NEVER the best way to deal with me on anything. If I even suspect you are mentioning anything about exercise or food to me, I rebel & either eat as much as I can or do as little physical movement as possible. When someone even asks me if I want to go for a walk with them, it translates in my mind as "You are so enourmousely fat. You aren't worthy." I know this is a mental issure with me but still that is how my mind works.

I hate running but it is one of the cheapest & easiest (easy as in you can do it pretty much anywhere & it requires no equipment) forms of exercise around. I do have a couple of motivations to get back into it though. I have a friend who's father told me that she is planning on coming to Dallas in December for a 5K. I would love to do it with her & that gives me pleanty of time to get back into it. Also, another friend of mine has a friend that wants to do a triathlon with three people, meaning, each person does one of the events. My friend wants me to do it with them. I have the choice to either run or bike. Since, I haven't done much biking, I'll probably choose to do the running. So, I guess it is back to it. I'll pretty much be starting the Couch-to-5K over again since I haven't run since April.

Oh, well, this is a lifestyle not a diet, right? Ugh, still, SO frustrating!

Weigh In #61 - 64

Gained 7 lbs but lost 2 lbs

Kyle & Brent: http://www.youtube.com/user/KyleAndBrent

Weigh In #60

Weekly loss: approx. -2 lbs
Total loss: -68 lbs

Man's greatest actions are performed in minor struggles. Life, misfortune, isolation, abandonment and poverty are battlefields which have their heroes - obscure heroes who are at times greater than illustrious heroes.
-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885) French Writer

Weigh In #58 & 59

Sorry for the chaotic video. Such is my life right now. :) I'm not leaving...I'm just backing away a bit until I get my priorities back in line & life calms down a bit.

Weigh In #56 + Some interesting groceries & weekend adventures

Weekly loss: - 0 lb (yeah, I know, another maintain, I'm actually pretty proud of my maintains, to be honest)
Total loss: -68 lbs

Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. -- Horace (65-8 BC) Roman Poet



If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice how he acts when he loses money. -- New England Proverb

Weigh In# 54

Weekly loss: -0.75 lb
Total loss: -68 lbs

Weigh In #53

Week loss/gain: +0.5 lb
Total loss: -67.25 lbs

One Year YouTube Anniversary

First YouTube video

From 5 min on the elliptical almost killing me to being able to go an hour.
From having a hard time walking on the treadmill with no incline for 30 min at 3.2 mph to being able to run at an incline of 1-1.5 for 35+/- mins at an average of 5 mph.
From a size 22 pants to a size 14.
From an average blood pressure of 120+/85+ to around 109/65 (as long as I'm not driving in Dallas traffic or going to the dentist).
From an average resting heart rate of 80+ to somewhere between 55 & 60.
From 247 lbs - 179 lbs (at last weigh in).

Not bad for one year. :)

Weigh In #52

Weekly loss: -0.5 lb
Total loss: -67.75 lbs

Here are a couple of pics from the other night:

One Year Anniversary at 24 Hr Fitness

I thought my paranoia while filming in the parking lot was hilarious so I left a few of the bit in. :)

Total loss for the year: -67.75 lbs

24 Hr Fitness

Weigh In #51

Week loss: -2.75 lbs
Total loss: -67.25 lbs

Just realized I forgot to add my intro this week. :P Oh well, there's always next week. :)

Running: Making Strides

Weigh In #50

Rachele: http://www.youtube.com/user/Rachele77
Rachele's video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrlmI_fbXnQ

A gross video about fast food: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NndPyWDnK34



Week loss/gain: +2 lbs
Total loss: -64.5 lbs

Hilarious video about Twitter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN2HAroA12w&feature=featured

A "Rocky" Moment

I wrote about this on my Food & Exercise Log but I thought I would discuss it (& a bit more) here too.

I ran/walked to my grandmother's nursing facility today. I started out walking about 1/4 a mile then ran the rest of the way, about 1 mile. It took me about 17 min & my heart rate monitor averaged about 143.

The last 1/4 mile (this is probably a bit of an exaggeration but not by too much) is down hill. It is a pretty steep hill also. On the way back, I was planning on walking back up the hill then running the rest of the way home. But, once it was time to do that, I got a little ambitious, I wanted to see how far I could go. Halfway up, I was determined to go all the way. I could do this! And, I did! My heart, of course was pounding & I could hardly breathe but I did it. Amazingly enough my heart rate monitor only reached about 186, which isn't too bad for running up hill, for me.

Once at the top of the hill, I walked for about another 1/4 mile or less then ran for another 1/2 mi or so, then walked the last 1/4 mile for a "cool down." That took me about 23 min (due to me walking more on the way back than I did going) & my heart rate monitor read out about 143 again. Putting that into the online calories burned calculator that I use, it said that I burned about 536 calories. Not too bad. While I think this may be a bit of an over exaggeration, I really don't think it is too far off. So, yay!

The wind was blowing like crazy today. I considered not running at all, but it felt so nice out & it was perfectly overcast. I know we only get a few nice days a year where between the freezing cold & the sweltering heat, so I don't want to waste a single nice day. Tomorrow (now today, since I am writing this at 4:30 am) it was supposed to rain, so I wouldn't be running outside then. Well, now it isn't supposed to rain. I was planning on running again outside today but as the night has worn on, my shin splints are screaming at me. It hurts bad enough to walk, I can just imagine how bad it would hurt to run. I still haven't decided. I may run, who knows.

I would eventually like to get to where I run 3 miles every day. That no longer seems like a completely ridiculous idea. I still don't like running. I like the idea of it. I like that I feel victorious after doing it. But, I just don't find joy in it like some do. I like the stamina it has given me & the feeling that I am doing something I never, in a million years, would ever have thought possible or even practical. But, I don't like having to mentally fight for every step I take. I feel like I'm bargaining with a child, like I'm negotiating with a terrorist, like I'm talking a jumper down from a ledge. It's exhausting. The feeling afterwards is well worth it, but you can't tell someone "the ends will justify the means" when they are in the middle of pain. They don't care. They just want the pain to end.

I do like telling people I run. It makes me feel like I'm a part of some elite crowd, like an athlete. It doesn't matter that I can only run a mile or two without stopping & many others can knock out 10 like it is nothing. They don't know that. I'm sure at my size they assume I can't really run that far, in fact many probably can't believe that I can run as much as I can but, that is okay. I may not love the sport yet, but I hear that that is something that eventually comes. I still don't feel like I can call myself a runner. Perhaps that is because I am still fairly new at the sport or that I don't do it often enough or, & probably more likely, that I haven't found the "love" for it yet, but that's okay, I still am. Right?

So, today (now yesterday) I had a Rocky moment. I've never seen the film, but I know the scene where Rocky is running up those Philadelphian steps then turns back & raises his arms in victory. We all know that scene. I did not reenact that scene when I made it up my hill, because that would have been nuts. hehe But, I did on the inside. Maybe it wouldn't be a big deal to many & it may not be a big deal to me in a few months, but for today, for a few short minutes, I was Rocky.

Random Video: Friday: Running Outside

Calorie counter website: http://www.triathlontrainingblog.com/?page_id=483

Weigh In #49

Weekly loss: -1.75
Total loss: -66.5 lbs

Finally, past that 65 lb mark. Whew!

Sorry about it being a little late & if the video quality seems a bit weird. I finally got that new software & I'm still trying to figure it out. I tried twice to upload this video Tuesday & then realized I was trying to upload a 6 GB video, so I had to go back & reedit it. :)

Weigh In #48

Sorry this is so late. I forgot to post it after uploading it to YT.

Weekly loss: nil
Total loss: -64.75 lbs....darn that elusive 65 lbs mark....I will conquer you!

Intriguing, I know.

Random Video: Kettlebell Workout Clips

Please don't judge me too harshly, this is only my 3rd or 4th time at doing this. :)

Trboh (aka Terry; sorry I spelled your name wrong in the video; hope you don't mind me mentioning you): http://www.youtube.com/user/trboh or http://kettlebellguy.com/blog/